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Pat's InFamous Chili



"Wish I had time for just one more bowl of chili."
—Last words of Kit Carson, American Frontiersman

"Next to jazz music, there is nothing that lifts the spirit and strengthens the soul more than a good bowl of chili."
—Harry James, Band Leader

"Chili is much improved by having had a day to contemplate its fate."
—John Steele Gordon, Cookbook author

"It can only truly be Texas red if it walks the thin line just this side of indigestibility: Damning the mouth that eats it and defying the stomach to digest it, the ingredients are hardly willing to lie in the same pot together."
—John Thorne, Cookbook author

"Chili is not so much food as a state of mind. Addictions to it are formed early in life and the victims never recover. On blue days in October, I get this passionate yearning for a bowl of chili, and I nearly lose my mind."
—Margaret Cousins, Novelist

"Chili concocted outside of Texas is usually a weak, apologetic imitation of the real thing. One of the first things I do when I get home to Texas is to have a bowl of red. There is simply nothing better."
—Lyndon B. Johnson, 36th President of USA

"I won't rob the bank in McKinney, Texas. That's where my favorite chili parlor is located!"
—Jesse James, Outlaw

"Women can do all the rest of the cooking, but THE MAN makes the chili."
—Alan Grady, Web Designer

"Chile $1.50... You Will Like It"
—Famous Sign in the Texas Tavern, Roanoke, VA



INTRODUCTION:

I've been making chili since 1983. This, not coincidentally, is the year that I left my hometown of Roanoke, VA and could no longer buy chile anytime of the day or night at the Texas Tavern (where they spell it with an "e" instead of an "i" on the end). Since then I've probably made over 300 batches. Each is an adventure within itself, determined by the time of year, the weather, available ingredients, friends who are present and the amount of beer in the 'fridge.

Though I generally just "wing it" I've attempted to write down the basic process for all of you who have asked. If you have any ideas, please pass them on and maybe you will be added to the legacy.

This recipe leaves lots of room for interpretation, individual preferences and personal taste. Many ingredients are optional and are noted as such. You should read it over a few times then decide how you want to make YOURS. And remember: the most important part of making the chili is that you HAVE FUN. So, let's get started!



THE LARGE POT VERSION

HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED:

  • 2-3 Pounds of Meat. At least half should be beef. Here are some suggestions. I have used all of the following and can assure you that they work. Choose based on what you like and what's available in your neck of the woods:


    • Hot Sausage
      It really adds a special "zing" to the chili. Most people who try it for the first time (and who don't know it's in there) say it's the best chili they've ever had--and they don't know why!

    • Chorizo
      Chorizo is Mexican sausage, which you can usually find at the grocery store or the butcher shop. If you can't find any where you live, come visit me because there are several places you can find it in my town. I saw chorizo in the store and thought it would be a good addition. It usually comes in little 6' links like sausage does and usually I use two of these...I suppose you could say to add "one foot" of chorizo.

    • Leftovers from the Chili Box
      Throughout the summer, we cook out on the grill. Often we have leftover steak, roast, London Broil, burgers, etc. After it sits in the 'fridge for about three days I figure that nobody's going to eat it so I seal it, write "Meat for Chili" on the package and chuck it in the freezer in a box for this purpose. This is the time to get it back out!

    • Cheap Steak or London Broil London Broil is a "flank steak", very lean with lots of protein. It's a fairly inexpensive cut of meat, usually about $6 a pound but it's often on sale for much less. Watch the grocery store ads and check on it when in the store, sometimes you can get it for $3-$4 a pound, buy it, and freeze it until you need it.

    • Ground Beef
      Get the leanest that you can find. This prevents your chili from having more grease in it than Buck Owens used to put on his hair.

    • Ground Turkey
      You can save money by substituting Ground Turkey for the Ground Beef. You can't tell any difference, and it's better for you.

    • TVP (Textured Vegetable Protein)
      If you are a vegetarian or merely want the chili to be "light" and "less filling" (this is starting to sound like a beer commercial, isn't it?) consider TVP. It comes ground or in small strips. In general, about one cup of TVP, once rehydrated, is equivalent to about a pound of meat. You can order it from Bob's Red Mill (look him up) or sometimes find it in grocery stores / health food stores.

  • 1 Large or 2 Medium Onions
    If you don't have any onions you can use about ½ C minced onions. Put about a cup of chopped onions to the side if you'll later want to add them to the finished chili.

  • Garlic There are lots of ways you can do this. Regular garlic comes in a "head" or "club" with 6-8 "cloves". Here, you'd need about 4-5 of those, peeled, and chopped up. It's in the produce department.
    You can also use Elephant Garlic, which is a very large head of garlic consisting of about three cloves. Elephant Garlic will add lots of garlic flavor without the aftereffects (your breath). Also in the produce department.
    If you don't want to go to the trouble of peeling / chopping garlic, you can buy Minced Garlic, it comes in a small plastic bottle, usually where the condiments are (ketchup, mustard, etc.) You'd probably want to use 1-2 tablespoons of this.
    If all else fails, you can use garlic powder, it's in the spice section. About two teaspoons will do or a tablespoon if you're making a large pot and like garlic.

  • 2 28-Oz Cans of Whole Tomatoes
    One will go in in the beginning and the other goes in toward the end. If you hate tomatoes (Hello, Dr. Howell!) then omit these.

  • 1 12-oz can of tomato sauce If you hate whole tomatoes and omitted them, above, use a 28-oz can of tomato sauce.

  • A few bell peppers if you have any and like them At least one green one. If you want to get colorful, add a red one and/or a yellow one. Slice in half, top to bottom, get the seeds out, remove the area around the stem, slice / chop the rest.

  • One small can of diced chilis if you like them

  • 1 Pack of Carroll Shelby's Chili Mix, OR:

  • Do the Spices Yourself:
    • 4 Tablespoons Chili Powder

    • 1-2 Tablespoons Salt (don't overdo it)

    • 2 Teaspoons Cumin

    • 2 Teaspoons Oregano

    • 1 Teaspoon Dried Basil

    • 1-2 Teaspoons Cayenne Pepper or a few shots of Hot Sauce
      Only if you like it hot. You have been forewarned.

    • Various Other Fresh / Ground Peppers
      Most grocery stores now have a good selection of Mexican spices and esoteric hot peppers. Choose a few and experiment. Just check the heat level first and don't go too wild until you know what you're doing, as you are now literally playing with fire.

  • 1/2 C of Masa Flour
    Mexican corn flower, available at most stores in the ethnic food aisle. A small package of this comes with Carroll Shelby's chili mix.

  • About 2 TBL of Olive Oil or Corn Oil

  • 1 Can of Dark Red Kidney Beans

  • 1-2 Cans of Any of the Following in Any Combination:
    • Pinto Beans
    • Chili Hot Beans
    • Navy Beans
    • Black Beans
      Personally, I use one Pinto, one Dark Red Kidney and one Black, but any will work.

  • You will also need one of the following:
    • Six-Pack of Beer
      I suggest Michelob Ultras, which are wonderful. If you don't want to have to go to the fridge as often, they come in large 24-oz cans. Or go with Foster's Lager "oil cans". OR! If you really want to get "in the mood" as Glen Miller would say:

      Six-Pack of Texan Beer
      Lone Star is best. Shiner or Pearl will also work. One bottle is for the recipe and the others are for you to drink while you're cooking the chili. OR:

    • Six-Pack of Mexican Beer and 1 Lime
      Mexican beer works just as well if you can't find Texan beer. My personal preference in this case is Dos Equis, but Corona or Chihuahua also work well. Don't forget the lime! OR:

    • One Fifth of Cabo Wabo Tequila
      The world's best tequila, in those famous blue bottles. Don't overdo it and pass out and burn then sleep through your chili.

  • And perhaps...
    • Cayenne Pepper
      In addition to that listed above for the chili, you may also want some for the table to up the heat index. A small pack of this comes with Carroll Shelby's chili mix.

    • Rice, Cornbread, Oyster Crackers or Shredded Cheese
      Things that go along with the chili. Your choice.

HERE'S HOW TO DO IT:

Bear in mind that good things take time. Like 7-year-old Jack Daniel's. It takes a long time to make good chili. It will only take about 6 hours—not seven years. However, if you do it right, it may take seven years to get over the effects. It is best to make a day of it. Start early. I like to start on Sunday morning, then watch football all day as it cooks. It also works well for an evening party, etc.

If you are using sausage, slice it into cakes and cook it until brown in a frying pan. Remove, let drain, squeeze out the excess grease with paper towels. When cool, break it into small chunks about the size of your thumb. Set aside.

If you are using chorizo, prepare just like the sausage or just fry them whole and slice them later. If you are using both chorizo and hot sausage you can cook them together. When done, no breaking is necessary since chorizo is typically "hot dog" size. Set aside.

If you are using raw ground beef/turkey, brown it in the frying pan and drain it when done. Set aside.

If you are using raw cheap steak or London Broil, cut into small cubes about the size of the end of your index finger and brown in the frying pan. Set aside.

If you're using TVP reconstitute the TVP. Add 7/8 cup water and one TBL soy sauce to 1 C ground TVP, if using chunk TVP increase the water to 1 C, then set aside while it does it's thing. Set it aside. You'll add this much later in the process. Note: If using TVP, OMIT THE SALT mentioned with the spices, above. The soy sauce you use with the TVP will contain enough!

If you are using already-cooked meats from the freezer "Chili Box", thaw it out, chop it up, add it with the other meats from above.

Peel and dice up the onion, pepper and the garlic and set aside.

Now. Get a large pot. From now on we will refer to it as the "chili pot." With the oil, saute the onions and garlic until the onions start getting clear. Turn the heat down to low and let it all simmer for about fifteen minutes while you open and begin drinking a beer. Check now and then to ensure that stuff is not sticking to the bottom of the chili pot.

Add about half of the meat. If you are using TVP, save this for later. Also add one can of tomatoes / the tomato sauce and enough water to cover it all. Stir up, and cover. Turn heat to Low. You want to keep it just warm enough for it to barely be boiling. Let it cook slowly for about an hour or two, stirring it regularly as you keep coming into the kitchen for more beer.

Add the spices (Carroll's or your own) EXCEPT for the corn mesa flour which you will use later. Stir well, and make sure no little globs of undissolved spices are floating around in the chili. You don't want "Chili Powder Dumplings" now, do you?

Now add the green & bell peppers (depending on which you use). Stir again, cover up and let it simmer.

Depending on which ingredients you're using, how long you're taking to cook it, how much football you plan on watching, how much beer is in the fridge, how cold it is outside, and when you want it to be ready you will be letting the above simmer anywhere from 1 to 4 hours.

Personally, I think that the longer you cook it and the lower the heat, the better it will be. Just stir it often, add water if necessary, keep the lid on the pot to keep all the flavor in, and make sure it doesn't start boiling to rapidly.

About two hours before you plan on serving it, add the beans. First put them in a collander, drain them and rinse them before putting them in the chili pot. If you're using TVP, add that now.

One hour before you plan on having dinner, begin thinking about what you want to have with the chili. Cornbread? Rice? Start making this stuff now.

About half an hour before serving time take the corn mesa flour, put it in a small mixing bowl, add about a cup of water, mix it up and make sure there aren't any lumps in it. I use a whisk to mix it up. Then pour it in the chili pot and stir it. This will help thicken it up a bit.

Don't forget the rice, cornbread, cheese, crackers, etc. Finish preparing these, and get out the bowls. If you timed everything correctly it should now be about halftime in the 4PM late afternoon football game.

If you're using canned whole tomatoes, about twenty minutes before serving time, open the other can of tomatoes, drain them, and add them to the chili pot. If you have diced chilis, add them now, too. Once you add the tomatoes, turn off the heat, stir it and let it sit and cool for at least twenty minutes. While cooling, continue to stir occasionally.

THE SLOW-COOKER VERSION

It's basically the same as above, only the timing is different and—depending on the size of your crock pot / slow cooker, you'll need to scale back the amounts of ingredients.

STUFF NEEDED:

  • Meat: 1 – 1.5 Pounds. See the list above.


  • Onion – medium or large depending on how much you like onions


  • Green Pepper - chop as described above


  • Garlic – see above


  • Tomato sauce – two 15 oz. cans. If you like tomatoes (as does my wife) use one sauce and one whole / diced tomatoes.


  • Beans – 2-3 cans – I usually use one each of dark kidney, pinto, and black beans.


  • Spices – easiest way is to get a box of Carroll Shelby’s, sometimes it says “Chili Kit” or sometimes “Texas Chili” – it’s the same stuff. There’s one large pouch of chili spices, one small pack of cayenne pepper (add if you like it hot), and a pouch of mesa flour which is optional but can be used at the end to thicken it up a bit.

OPTIONAL FOR COOKING: Some like to add a small can of diced green chilis (in the ethnic foods section), or chopped yellow/red peppers (it doesn’t really add any flavor that you don’t get with a green one, but makes it more colorful).
OPTIONAL FOR SERVING: You may want oyster crackers, cornbread muffins (Jiffy Corn Muffin mix, some milk and an egg and a muffin pan or baking dish to do as cornbread—easy), cheese to put on top when you serve it. Some like it over rice… Some like sliced jalapenos (pickled or fresh) on top. Whatever floats your boat.

HOW TO:

Cook the beef / sausage / chorizo in the frying pan, drain off the grease in the colander, rinse it, put it in the slow cooker.

Chop onions / peppers / garlic – some people will also do these first in the frying pan, but I think you’re fine just adding them to the slow cooker after you chop them.

Add the can of tomato sauce, and enough water to cover everything. Put the lid on. Cook on Low for about two hours.

Put spices in a bowl or cup, add a cup or two of water, mix them up well with your whisk, get rid of any lumps. Pour those in the slow cooker. Stir it up. Replace the lid. Cook on Low for another hour.

Open cans of beans, drain and rinse them in your colander, add to the slow cooker. Stir it up. Replace the lid. Cook on low for about another hour.

If you want to use the mesa flour, pour it in a bowl/cup, mix with water as you did the spices, pour that in and stir it up well about ten minutes before you serve it.

CONCLUSION

However you do it, when done, grab another beer and ENJOY!!!