Last updated January 26, 2013
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Warning! Use of this web page may impair your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems. Use outdoors in well-ventilated area! In case of a drawing, a tie will be held. Close cover before striking! For external use only. No user-serviceable parts inside. Two wrongs do not make a right. But three rights do make a left. And two Wrights made an airplane. Keep in dry place. For serious injuries, seek medical attention. See Rock City! Do not attempt to view any part of this web site while in a building that is on fire. Offer expires February 31. Not for use by children with two hands and from 8 to 10 fingers. This web page is sold by weight and not by volume. Some settling during shipping may occur. No phone, no pool, no pets. 100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed from concentrate. This end up. Your mileage may vary. Do not remove this tag under penalty of law! This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause reproductive toxicity. The cigarette general has determined that surgeons may be hazardous to your health. Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Don't try this at home! For serious injuries, seek medical attention. Pennsylvania residents please add 6% sales tax. Failure to obey this warning may result in serious injury to yourself or others. This bag is not a toy! Please don't feed the bears. It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing. Do wop, do wop, do wop. Remember, do not let children play in the dishwasher. DO NOT USE WITHOUT CLOTHES. No refunds, no exchanges. Do not turn upside down. Some assembly required. Rotate your tires regularly. Part of a complete breakfast. Your results may vary. Unplug toaster before bathing. For a good time, call 555-3825. Ask for Zondra. IMPORTANT NOTICE: The entire physical universe, including this web site, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this web site in that universe cannot be guaranteed. For indoor or outdoor use only. One size fits all. Not for highway use. Wear safety glasses while viewing. Do not refrigerate. Never leave a live tiger unatended! Cow tipping illegal within 10 miles of city limits. Not responsible for lost articles, luggage or children. Remember, a false alarm could kill a friend. Women should not view this web page during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. Shake well before using! Decision of the judges is final. Put your left foot in. Take your left foot out. If rash develops, see a doctor. If stiffness develops, see a nurse. I heard it praised. By drug store clerks. I tried the stuff. Hot dog it works. Burma Shave. Remember, if you don't go to peoples' funerals, you can't expect them to come to yours. Check local plumbing codes for proper installation requirements. In the Flying Spaghetti Monster we trust. May cause drowsiness. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery. Post no bills. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Flavor enhanced with poppycock and gruel extract. Use as directed. A little dab'll do ya! Prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance. There's a lion in my bathroom. Not intended for use by miners—unless they have their helmets on. Do not use near fire or flame! All rights reserved, all wrongs reversed. Let us all shine on!
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